So, I'm a naturally sarcastic person anyway (if you couldn't tell), but when I'm tired or cranky, it's pretty much a constant. This is a bad thing for more than one reason.
1~ Kids do not understand sarcasm. They will take you literally.
2~ Most Utahans don't understand it either. A lot of people here live with rose coloured glasses. They see the good, and only the good, and take everything so literally! But that's a whole other rant.
3~ I use sarcasm as a way to hide how I really feel.
So, lately I've learned that I have a problem with feelings. Not having them, because I'm sure everyone around knows that I have them. I have a problem expressing them. Some of my students will come up to me and say, "I love you," and I'm just like, "you're cute." I can't actually say it. To anyone, really. I mean, people say it to family and friends all the time, right? And it's not that I don't feel it, it's just that I can't say it. Then there are the not so fun times in therapy where I get started talking about something emotional. Yep. Out pours the sarcasm and the tears get fought back.
I can't even call myself "broken" because that would entail that nothing is held back. I guess I've just told myself "tough as nails; cold as stone" too many times. Either that or my ex ruined me forever. Ooh... I like it. I'll just blame him!
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