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Monday, January 1, 2018

The Struggle Is Real

I’m ready to have this stop now...

First off, Happy New Year! 

Now, to my story...

I’ve been manic now for over two months. It’s driving me nuts and I can honestly not understand why people enjoy this. Each day that drags on makes me more and more cranky. Everything gets on my nerves. Today was no different.

Since it’s a holiday, my mom had the day off. We sat around all morning watching NCIS on Netflix (for like the twelfth time...). You can imagine how thrilling that was to someone with the attention span of an oh look, squirrel! We were planning on going to a movie, but that wasn’t until one o’clock. By that time, I was ready to pull my hair out.

So we get to the theatre and find out that the movie we wanted to see was sold out. Last nerve=snapped. Alternate plans were made. My parents and I went to Barnes and Noble. I found a couple of new books (which I don’t have room for). On the way home, we stopped at Wendy’s for a snack. There’s a guy who works there that my father has a major man-crush on. See, my dad thinks he’s hilarious and that he must be so every minute of every day. My mom and I have learnt to ignore him, but new people haven’t heard his same old jokes a million times, so he takes advantage of the opportunity to annoy me. I mean, joke with them... which annoys me, so yeah. So he and this kid were talking/joking while I’m ready to punch them both.

By that time, I was ready to come home and put on my jammies. Problem: all my jammies are dirty so I had to do laundry. More NCIS until dinner. More annoyance at dinner. I’d finally had it, so I grabbed my set of Harry Potter and popped in Half-Blood Prince and grabbed a Diet Coke. Still no jammies, but at least I’ve got my favourite distraction!

I started a higher dose of my downer, but that doesn’t seem to be helping. I’ll be asking my med manager if I can quit one of my uppers next... But anyhow, if I’m cranky or if I snap at you, don’t take it personally. I’m going thru hell right now and you could get caught in the crossfire.