You've heard people say that, when someone dies, the pain doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it? I finally understand. A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night crying because I was dreaming about my grandma. Since then, I've been falling pretty fast.
With the holidays, I see my Facebook friends having good times with friends and family. Normal people see these things as nice, I see them as a slap in the face. Like they're saying, "Haha! You have nothing!" or "See how much fun we have without you!" I have quite a few Facebook friends who live in the Salt Lake Valley, but I never get invited to do things. I just wish they knew exactly how much it hurts that I don't have these fun pictures to post.
On the other hand, I've been able to see two of my really good friends this week! One lives just an hour south of me, and the other is in town from Oklahoma. I got to visit each of them at their respective homes.
I know I have some great friends, and I'm not discounting them, I just wish I had friends around here who would care enough to invite me to do things. I know I'm weird. I'm socially awkward, I don't really talk, I can be crabby, and I generally hate crowds, but I'm human. I have feelings. I'm always thinking of others' feelings so much so that my own get forgotten sometimes.
"What If"~ Plain White T's (Sorry if I've used it recently...)