Or just an intermission...?
I'm at my limit. The stress of my job is affecting me mentally and physically. My sleep is awful, I'm gaining even more weight, and my brain feels messy. Why? Because my work decided to make the world's dumbest policy changes.
To start out with, we're no longer allowed to use doctor notes. At all. Ever. For any reason. Why? "Because it's a HIPPA violation." (Fun fact: When the note is freely given, it's voluntary, not mandatory. So no, it's not a violation.) Then, to try to straighten out the bad seeds on the team, we've all been punished with the most asinine adherence schedule. Now, we have to meet minimum 85% adherence-- no waivers for absences thanks to the no doctor notes rule. We must meet our "budgeted hours" every week, which is fine. My favorite, and quite possibly illegal part? If there's a holiday that the company is closed, like Labor Day, we have to either use PTO or manage to overwork ourselves by getting in the additional eight hours during the rest of the week to meet those budgeted hours. That's TWO hours extra for the remaining four days.
"Lots of people work four ten-hour shifts. It's not that bad." True. But those people aren't me. I can't do that. Fine for others, not for me.
Because of this idiocy, I'm on the razor's edge of quitting. In fact, I'm contacting my disability lawyer in the morning, before most of you will get a chance to read this. I'm calling off sick tomorrow because of this stress, and I have an emergency appointment with my therapist tomorrow evening.
My life is crumbling beneath me, and I have no idea what to do. I've worked so freaking hard to get where I am, but the bridge from my past and my present is on fire, and I'm praying the last rope holds out long enough for me to find another position.
Adding on top of this is the sale of my house. I closed on it today, which makes me feel like a massive failure. So there's that.
These last two years have been fun, but it turned into a living hell in one swipe of the company pen
My life is no longer in my control. I just have to trust that God knows what He's doing, and I have to accept the path He has given me.
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