I bought my house and my puppies. Both I worked very hard to get, and both slipped through my over-stressed fingers in record time.
It was going so well, you know? I got everything I needed for two Golden puppies, I got a professional mover, and everything was just perfect. Then the other shoe fell. The house has no heater or air conditioner, leaving me with just a fireplace and a super outdated gas heater. Neither of which heat the house enough. With the never-ending winter, I was in pain, I was so cold. Even my eyeballs were cold! It was bad. Add on top of it that my work computer decided to go out, and my first week there was Hell on steroids. I drove back to my mom's house so I could get warm, and so I could get my work computer fixed.
I went back to my house, and started having, like, ten to twenty panic attacks a day. They'd last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours. It was unbearable. So, I drove back to my mom's house, again. Somewhere in the mix, I had to surrender my puppies to the Humane Society because I couldn't handle them, either. I took on too much, too soon. They'll both go to great homes who can give them what I couldn't.
Now for the unexpected, and highly annoying plot twist...
I couldn't handle life, let alone work, so I'm taking a leave of absence for just under 2 months. I'm scheduled to go back to work as of June first, but I'm hoping to be back sooner. I feel like I'm leaving my team in a bind, which doesn't help my mental state, but I'm working hard, seeing my therapist twice a week throughout my leave, trying to get back on track quickly.
Last, and possibly the most painful... I'm selling my house. I lived there maybe eight days total. I feel like a freaking champ.
I'm not in a good place, these days. My meds were upped and therapy is intense, but I refuse to lose completely. My ability to work full-time came too slowly, and I worked too hard for it to lose it, now. There'll be another house, and probably another dog, but my job is something I can't replace. I may work at a call center, dealing with the usually disgruntled public, but I love it.
It took me over ten years to get a job I love. Ten years of hard work. I'm not giving it up. That's all there is to it.
