Children Are Difficult

If you have, or have had, a two-year-old, my heart goes out to you.

This child will be the death of me. Whether he gets his way, or not, he’s the biggest terror. Allow me to elaborate...

If he’s got something to say, even if you’ve told him you don’t want to hear it, he’s gonna say it. You can’t stop him. If you try, he just starts shouting until he’s finished his thought.

He has this super weird thing about keeping the door to the basement open, and if you try to close it, it’s Tantrum Town. He’ll literally stand in the doorway just so you can’t close it. 

As with most kids, he either can’t smell, or simply doesn’t care about, his own stench. 

You can’t make him do anything, unless he’s getting rewarded by the act itself. 

And oh, the messes he creates. He loves them. He revels in them. His mess is his happy place.

This two-year-old of mine is actually 74. A 74-year-old narcissistic hoarder I was forced to call “dad” for 32 years. The “dad” who made fun of me, provoked me for his own amusement, and played the victim when I finally let him have it. This is my reality. 

He doesn’t have conversations. He has monologues. If you try to say something, even in response to what he’s saying, he’ll shout over you until he’s finished.

He wants the basement door open the entire time he’s upstairs. Why? Because he will, at some point, go back downstairs. This could be anywhere between a minute and several hours. The biggest problems with this are the fact that the basement rivals the temperature of Antarctica, and it reeks. *Read on...*

The basement reeks because the man is a hoarder. A vast majority of what’s in the basement is actual, literal garbage. Newspapers that are ten or more years old, VHS tapes he can’t watch because he has no VCR, towels that have been labeled “trash” by any sane person are being used as “blankets”. Then there’s the old TV that was replaced like four years ago, and the two (yes, two) old computers that are nothing more than oversized paperweights. Don’t take my word for it. Watch the attached video.

What?

That was an adventure I’d like to never experience again.

Earthquake. Aardbeving. Daeargryn. Terremoto.

My first earthquake happened this morning. A first for many Utahns. We have tiny, almost undetectable quakes just about every day. Today hit 5.7,  with aftershocks hitting up to 4.6.

In Utah, we get the possibility of “the big one” drilled into our brains from birth. It’s well known that Utah is a ticking time bomb, and has been for centuries. But it’s always been a “what if” situation. 

My entire life, I’ve maintained that “the big one” wouldn’t happen in my lifetime. I’m now rethinking that stance. I’m no scientist, but in my mind, this could have potentially set other quakes in motion. Could “the big one” be next? Could it be soon? 

I was sound asleep when it hit. People always talk about the sound of an earthquake. I heard nothing. I just felt it. Not gonna lie, I’m thankful for my hearing loss this morning.

Loads of people had damage to their homes and businesses. The bright spot was that there were no reported fatalities or serious injuries. I’m still surprised that the only thing in my house that fell was my Luna Lovegood figure. We got off super easy at my house. 

I’ve got a friend who lived in Japan for a while (go Army!), and she was keeping me sane in my panic. Telling me what’s normal and what to expect was a massive help!

Overall, not the best day. Here’s to tomorrow.

Don’t Panic

“Coronavirus, coronavirus, COVID-19”

As you’re well aware, we’ve got a global problem. It’s all over every news outlet. Every. Single. One. That’s all we’ve heard about for at least a couple weeks now. I don’t know about you, but I’d even be happy to see an “Epstein didn’t kill himself” meme. We’re bombarded with coronavirus updates everywhere we look, and it’s getting to us.

The media has blown it up so that people are hoarding things that really aren’t necessary. I mean, come on. Are you really going to use a thousand rolls of toilet paper in two weeks? That is, assuming you even get sick. And I promise, you don’t need to buy every bit of food you see. There are other people in your city. They need food, too.

The biggest problem I’m seeing, however, is the effects on mental health. Having all this shoved in our faces, and down our throats, 24/7, tends to bring us down. Whether it be the ever-rising death toll, the closures of restaurants and other social places, or wondering how to care for your kids while schools are out, you’re getting stressed. I get that there are some serious possible ramifications, but like my friend, Anna, said, “... hope for the best, and plan for the worst.”

Live now. Today. There are so many advantages to this whole social distancing thing:

-Go to the park. Big, open spaces. 

-Text, call, Skype, or FaceTime your friends and family. Today’s technology allows us to stay close, even when we’re separated. 

-Get out those Richard Simmons DVDs we all know you have. Sweat to those oldies without judgement. 

-But the most important thing you can do: check in with yourself, often. Are you ok? Are you worrying too much? Can you talk to someone if you need to?

Don’t let this get the best of you.

Steps

One foot in front of the other...

So I spoke to an enrollment person and officially applied. My projected start date is May 8. I contacted one of the other schools I took classes at, and got my transcript sent to SNHU. Not that there’s much there, but it could maybe save me a math class.

To be honest, I’m terrified. 

One really good thing about this school is that, if you take one class per eight-week term, you’re part-time (duh). But only one class more defines you as a full-time student. I’ll obviously be doing only one class at a time. At least for now. My life is constantly changing, so there may be a time when I can take two classes. And there may be terms when I just need a break.

Feeling a little better.

I have two friends (that I know of) who did their degrees online. They both loved doing it that way. Not gonna lie though, they’re both a truck load smarter than I am, so... 

One step forward, two steps back.

I’m always thinking how far behind I am in life compared to my friends. They all have school behind them, are married, have jobs, and most have kids (not in my plans, though). But something my mom always says is “Even if it takes you ten years... in ten years, you’ll still be better off than if you didn’t” (something like that, anyhow).

One step. That’s all I need.

Here goes nothing...

Picture of the day

Conisbrough from the top of the castle keep.

Well, "SNHU" To You, Too!

Money flying out the window in 3... 2... 1...

Since junior high, my favorite subject in school has been history. European history, to be precise. Not surprising, really. My mother's family came straight from the Netherlands, and my father's side came from England. Yes, I've had a slight obsession with England since I was five, but reading or watching their history is my favorite thing. Going there in 2018 was an absolute dream come true!

Ok, back on topic...

I've attended college. Twice. Two different schools. Four different majors. None of them in history. I've done majors in Special Ed, Criminal Psychology, English, and Social Media Marketing. Obviously, none of them stuck. I've now decided to apply at Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU) and do their online European History program.

I'm nervous. I mean, everything I've tried, I've failed. Not just when it comes to school. Everything.

I called up a good friend to talk about all this, and we came to a couple conclusions:

1. Failing is a part of life and learning.
2. Maybe online school will be better since there are no people around.

So, I filled out my FAFSA, hit that "Apply" button on SNHU's website, and am now in the process of pretending to wait like a patient person.

I'll only be able to do like two or three classes per year, so even if I do happen to succeed, it'll take until I'm ninety, but at least it's doing something.

Mystery link

Picture of the day (because I said so): I took this in 2015. It's the Utah State Capitol Building.