It's A Thing- Go With It

Some days, you just need a pool noodle.

Today can go away, and never return. But that's the great thing about todays- they always go away, never to return. Even when you're suffocating, trying to get just one sigh of relief, today will be gone tomorrow.

It's stormy, today. Normally, this wouldn't mean a thing. Today, it means my depression has turned on me, keeping me from really doing much of anything. I can't even smile. It's annoying.

One of my coworkers simultaneously made me laugh and feel a bit better, if only for a minute. She told me I sounded cheerful. That's the last word I'd use to describe me, today, but I guess sounding cheerful is a good step in keeping me from a total breakdown. It was just a nice thing to say.

Then, after stupid people did lots of stupid people things, I get a text from a friend, informing me that she found me a pool noodle. Yes, there's an explanation. No, I don't feel like explaining it. Let it be a mystery.

That seemingly small thing let me know that today will, in fact, end. Tomorrow will come, erasing today from my mind.

As this wonderful friend says... "The moral of the story" is you never know what can make your day. It could be something you always do, or something so small that you'd never think of.

Good friends should be everyone's go-to. Find your happy place in good people. You deserve it.

Second Thoughts

Big red flags...

So, last week, I did intake for a new therapist. I didn't do this with my actual therapist, but with some rando who does it. That was red flag number one. 

During this intake, there was an intern, who was simply observing. That's fine. Everyone has to learn their profession, sometime, right? Red flag number two  was when I was "advised" with things like, "don't talk about that, during therapy" and "don't say that during therapy". So... what's the point of therapy, if I can't talk about why I'm there?

Literally the only reason I'm keeping the appointment with this therapist, is to find out if she's any better than the company she works for. I've been in and out of  therapy since I was, like, twelve. Over they years, I've learned to read the warning signs for a bad therapist. I had one who didn't accept my interests or choices, and actually met with my mom, concerned about my desire to get into criminology. I had another who, during our first appointment, was twisting words, trying to make me say that I didn't work, because it's not important to me (which is 100% false). Still the worst, by far, was when I was locked up in the world's worst inpatient facility. She drilled it through the heads of all the women there, that we were there because we did something wrong, not because we had illnesses.

There's a shortage of therapists, in general, so finding a good one is about as easy as finding a snowball in Yuma, Arizona.

I have my first appointment with this new one, next Thursday. To be honest, I'm not holding my breath, but we shall see...