I'm still at the bottom of the well and the walls are too slippery to climb. Last week, I missed three and a half of my usual four days at work. I managed to go today, but the physical pain caused by smiling was too much to handle, but I don't have the energy required to get angry. I had kids pulling me in every imaginable direction by my arms, waist, scarf, coat, anything they could find, and all I could do was passively say "no."
After hiding out in the closet of the empty classroom fighting back the tears, I left a bit early. I came home, made Mac & Cheese, piled up every pillow I own onto my bed, and turned on Gilmore Girls.
Stress is not my friend (nice segue, huh?). It seems to be worse lately even though I haven't really had any. Even the tiniest thing gets to me and I'm not particularly good at processing it. I can bite harder and faster than a pack of hyenas on a... well, I'll spare you the visual. I don't actually like doing it, it's actually more of a defense mechanism, but it's been happening a lot more often.
I don't know what to do. I've never been this low before and I keep getting lower and lower. Have you ever heard someone say that it's too cold to snow? Well, I'm too sad to cry.
"Let It Hurt"~ Rascal Flatts