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I have found the world's best mac & cheese!
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Monday, March 2, 2015

Just Puttin' Off The Pain

My happy place is playing "Hide and Seek."

I'm still at the bottom of the well and the walls are too slippery to climb. Last week, I missed three and a half of my usual four days at work. I managed to go today, but the physical pain caused by smiling was too much to handle, but I don't have the energy required to get angry. I had kids pulling me in every imaginable direction by my arms, waist, scarf, coat, anything they could find, and all I could do was passively say "no."

After hiding out in the closet of the empty classroom fighting back the tears, I left a bit early. I came home, made Mac &  Cheese, piled up every pillow I own onto my bed, and turned on Gilmore Girls.

Stress is not my friend (nice segue, huh?). It seems to be worse lately even though I haven't really had any. Even the tiniest thing gets to me and I'm not particularly good at processing it. I can bite harder and faster than a pack of hyenas on a... well, I'll spare you the visual. I don't actually like doing it, it's actually more of a defense mechanism, but it's been happening a lot more often.

I don't know what to do. I've never been this low before and I keep getting lower and lower. Have you ever heard someone say that it's too cold to snow? Well, I'm too sad to cry.

"Let It Hurt"~ Rascal Flatts


  1. I hide and cry in my pillows too, it always makes me feel better. I hope you can find more things that make you feel better. LOVE YOU