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Monday, March 9, 2015

Awkwardly Annoyed


I have a truly rare gift, indeed. I can bring any conversation to a screeching halt simply by opening my mouth. Doesn't matter what the subject, anything I say is just so off-the-wall to anyone who is not me that everyone just looks at me like I'm speaking an obscure, forgotten language.

I've always been a little awkward around people. I was a freakishly shy kid. I'm still quiet until I get to know someone. It just seems like it's gotten worse since I graduated high school. Four sentences in a row starting with the letter "I"

I'm always trying to not offend people, so I try to word things differently. Fun example: I have a profile on a dating site (don't judge), and on it, I say how into music I am. Well, a guy messaged me with a link to a YouTube video of a song. It was possibly the most boring thing ever recorded. I mean, I gave it a fair chance, but after about a minute and a half I was contemplating stabbing my eardrums with an ice pick. What can you say? All I could say was "not generally my style, but not bad." (Yes, I lied. Judge me.)

Then there's the thing where, when I ask a question, I want the shortest answer possible so I can stop talking to you and stop feeling awkward. Nobody seems to understand this. I can ask someone directions to a room in the building, and instead of simply saying, "downstairs and third door on the right," I get an explanation so exact that I could paint a detailed picture. I don't need to know what room is just before it, what's on the wall next to it, or what decorations are on the door. The worst is when the answer is just yes or no. I really don't need to know your reasoning behind your answer, especially when you take ten minutes to explain it.

The really funny thing about this is that I can't stand awkward silences, either. In the elevator, I can look at my phone, but with the checker at the market, phones aren't really an option, so once again, I say something and get the, "okay, you're weird" looks.

My personal favorite is when I start rattling on about serial killers. That's the one subject that I can just keep going with, even when I want to shut up. Side note: I have a theory that Jack the Ripper was actually a woman. Based on victimology and MO, it just makes sense to me.

It's a random song day, and this has been on repeat almost all day.

"Legendary"~ The Summer Set

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