I feel like I'm losing control. Half the time I have no idea what I'm doing, the other half, I'm all too aware of it. The worst part: I can't actually put words to exactly how I feel. I can try, but it never seems quite right.
There's something that The Doctor says in the first episode of the new series of Doctor Who that is as close as it gets. He says: *I copied it from IMBD, so if it's misquoted, blame them.
" Do you know like we were saying, about the earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cause everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it... the turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour. The entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour. And I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world. And, if we let go..."
The more I read that, the more it's actually exactly how I feel. The part about not believing the world is spinning because it looks like it's standing still is like not believing there's anything standing still because my mind is always spinning. The whole, "falling through space... clinging to the skin of this tiny little world," is like how I'm trying to cling to some sense of normalcy, "and if we let go..." I don't want to know, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on.
"Hold On"~ Wilson Phillips