I've never been the girl that people want around. I mean, I have my friends, but they're few and far between. Facebook "friends" don't count. It's the people who call and invite you to do things that do. The last time someone called me and asked me to do something was last summer when my friend visited from Korea (yay Army bases). But what really bites the big one is that people I work with actively ignore and exclude me. This has happened at every job I've had, save for one.
All I want is to fit in, or better yet, just be accepted for who I am. People don't take the time to get to know me before making their snap judgments. I didn't fit in working at the bookstore because I read true crime instead of Harry Potter. I didn't fit in working at the music/movie store because heaven forbid, I like a few mainstream bands. I hated half of what they played there, but I never complained. I put in something even remotely pop and they shut it right off. I like what I like and I refuse to apologize for it! I accept that you like what you like. Why can't others be the same?
It's bad enough that I feel alone, but to actually be alone hurts more than people know. Like I've said before, I won't show any emotion around anyone but family, so nobody knows that I'm dying inside. I'm weird. So what? That doesn't make me a bad person.
I just wish I could find my niche. I'm not good enough to hang with the "good kids," nor am I bad enough to hang with the "bad kids." I'm stuck in the middle and it sucks.
This concludes today's episode of "Pity me." Joins us next week when we talk hair and eye color.