Convenient.
I'm sitting here, crying silently... knowing that not very many people would care... praying that God lets me die tonight... thinking about my brand new bottle of a medication that would permanently drown out the pain... Then my Facebook scrolling shows me a video with the caption, "Here's your sign."
I see all these things on the news of people dying in wrecks or freak accidents, and my only thought is "Why am I never that lucky? When is my turn?"
The thing is, I'm crap. Not my life... me. I can't win. I lower myself to make others feel better about themselves, and everything is fine. I finally put my foot down and refuse to hide my intelligence, suddenly I'm a cocky know-it-all. I bow down to my abusive family members, giving more than I have in an effort to keep the peace, and all is well. I put up boundaries, and I'm a horrible person who is just looking for the negative.
I'm tired of this. I have given all I have. I have no more.
Save me.
