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Monday, October 12, 2015

Define Depression

Criteria for Major Depressive Episode (from the DSM-5)

• Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.

• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others).

 • Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5 percent of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gains.

 • Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.

• Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

 • Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

 • Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick). • Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others).

 • Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

This is where I'm at. I've been here for almost four weeks now. The medication I'm on keeps me from getting manic by pushing me down. I need something to bring me up, but the doctor I've been seeing is a pan to get a hold of.

I don't want to get out of bed, let alone go to work. I can't even force a smile, and working with kids, you need to be able to smile. I don't want to listen to music, I don't want to watch TV, I don't even really want to write. I have absolutely no desire to do anything. My arms feel like they're a hundred pounds each, but I can't stop moving.

I've tried doing some things to make myself feel better, but if it works, it's only momentary. I bleached my hair and dyed my bangs turquoise, I've listened to Nick Santino's album (and his Rocket To The Moon albums) so much that I'm verging on getting sick of him. I bought some new things... I've done quite a bit, but to no avail. I'm depressed and I can't get out of it on my own.

"Breaktown"~ Hanson

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