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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Masks

"Put your brave face on."

I wear a mask that even I forget I'm wearing sometimes. Today, that mask came in handy.

As you know, I've been working at an elementary school supervising the kids at recess. Well, I got a new job that will work better for me and I quit the school. Telling the principal was easy. Telling the kids... not so easy.

Most of the kids I know well are in third grade, and when they found out, I was surrounded and locked into a group hug. Some of them wouldn't leave my side and kept saying, "I'm going to miss you." My heart shattered.

When the fifth grade came outside, the girls who were being bullied (see here) looked as if they'd just lost their last hope. They talked to me their whole recess and were obviously disappointed.

I say my mask came in handy today because I had to keep smiling and telling them that everything will be fine. I was dying inside. Those kids have been my whole world for a year. Many times in this last year, before I got my meds sorted, those kids were the only thing keeping me alive. The thought of those faces smiling up at me would shine a bright light on my darkest days. I'm already regretting leaving.

"Every Day"~ Rascal Flatts

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