I'm Sorry I'm Me

This is the only way I know how to tell you how I feel...

As you know, I've got quite a few friends out of state. One will make me a priority, no matter why she's in town. Like today... She's here for a funeral, but between planning and family time, she made a point to come hang with me for a few hours.

Another one makes me question our friendship. She came to town for a few weeks over Christmas. Yeah, I got to see her, but one time was for like an hour because her in-laws were going to be taking her family out. Then she invited me to have lunch with her and her 2 boys. She didn't mention that her other friend would be there, too. The last time she came to town, she was having a gathering at her sister's house. She asked me to meet her at her parent's. Who else was there? Her other friend. I asked if she'd like to ride with me. Nope. She'd already said she'd go with the other friend.

Tonight, I got a knife to the gut. She posted that her phone was dead and to reach her on another number. I asked if we would be doing our usual Skype calls. The other friend asked if they could Skype. Guess which one of us got a response...

My favorite, however, was when she invited me over, only to tell me when I got there that another of her friends, who openly dislikes me, was going to be there soon... I stuck around and tried to make nice, but this girl simply gave me dirty looks and short, snarky responses.

 

I drop everything to make time for this girl every time she says she's free. I bust my butt to get to wherever she happens to be staying. It seems like I'm an obligation. Something that has to be done rather than someone she genuinely enjoys spending time with.

I know my feelings are probably unfounded. She's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I just wish she would make me as much of a priority as I make her.

I guess I just feel like a loser.
"Loser"~ 3 Doors Down