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I'm on a mission to save the world! Or maybe just to find the perfect mac and cheese.
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Friday, January 15, 2016

I'm A Yo-Yo

I wish that the depression funk was more like "Funky Town."

I had my appointment for med management yesterday. I was less than pleased to inform my doctor that I'm falling into a depression again. The medications I've been on have worked well for me, but apparently they needed a little tweaking. On the bright side: tweaking is an option!

With all the pills I'm on, I'm surprised I haven't had a lethal combination yet. Fun fact: I'm taking diet pills because I'm struggling to lose weight on my own. That wasn't the fun fact, but this is: diet pills are uppers. Uppers trigger mania. "But you just said you were falling into a depression." Why yes, yes I did, and yes I am. The uppers only make me manic for an hour or two a day. It's a nice reprieve, but when you're manic and it's 30F outside... not exactly "outside weather."

I'm a little afraid with the tweaks, however. Yes, my downer (Prozac) was increased by 10mg, but my diet pills were raised by 15mg, doubling the dose that already makes me manic. Yesterday was the first day that I had taken the new dosages, and I got more done in those two hours than I usually do in four days.

Unlike many I've talked to, I do not welcome my mania. It is not my friend. I get more anxious, my panic attacks increase, I have the attention span of a SQUIRREL!, and I wind up breaking down if I've been manic for about a week. Yes, I become care-free and elated, but I know myself too well to really enjoy it.

So... Panic! at the Disco's new album is out now! Death of a Bachelor, and it's great!!!
"Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time"

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