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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Bipolar 102

What is Bipolar Disorder?

I was talking to a friend earlier about my mixed episodes, and I thought that I should explain a bit about all the ins and outs of Bipolar Disorder. Fun Fact: I am by no means an expert. All the info here is from personal experience only.

This is more that just a passing feeling. It can be all encompassing. You're tired both physically and emotionally, and can get to the point where any movement at all (even smiling) can hurt. You tend to sleep a lot more than usual, and can even stay in bed all day long because you're so tired. Your thoughts, speech, and, movements (if possible) are significantly slowed to where others notice.

Thoughts and ideas racing through your mind are a pretty good indicator. You have heightened energy which then negates the need for sleep. It is not uncommon to be awake for several days.  Inflated sense of self (better than saying ego...) and belief that you can do anything. Opposite of depression, your speech becomes rapid to where those around tend to notice.

This is where I usually live. You're physically tired, as with depression, but you've got racing thoughts, as is with mania. Basically, you've got a million and one ideas, but you're too tired to get out of bed.

As you can imagine, none of these are particularly fun. Well, some people love their mania... Last week, I was manic. This week, I'm mixed. I'm slow and tired, but at the same time, I've got the attention span of a... ooh, shiny! I can't hardly read, watch TV, or even listen to music because I get so bored, but I can't exercise or really go out because I'm so tired. This, lovelies, is my "normal."

I really like a quote from the chorus of this song... "Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year."
"Weightless"~ All Time Low

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