First child: “I broke a nail. It bled for a second.”
Parents: “Oh no! Which finger? How long was it? Let me see! You gotta put a bandage on it!”
Second child: “I’ve got a fatal illness.”
Parents: “I’ve been through that. You’ll live.”
First child: “I got a B on my math test.”
Parents: “That’s so great! I knew you were smart!”
Second child: “I got a B-.”
Parents: “You need to apply yourself more.”
First child: “I spend more on clothes than I do food.”
Parents: “Well you look incredible!”
Second child: “I splurged and bought a $10 album.”
Parents: “You need to manage your money better.”
I frankly don’t believe ANY parent when they say they love their children equally. They can’t. Kids are individuals with different personalities, and nobody gets along with every personality. The problem comes when you dismiss one kid in favour of another, or treat that child as if they’re second best. Again... kids are individuals, not clones. One kid’s B is another kid’s D+. What one is good at, the other isn’t. What one fights, the other knows nothing about.
Believe it or not, kids can tell when they’re second. And it gets more obvious as they get older.
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