Fine, Do Your Thing

Just don't expect me to follow your lead.

Today is the last day I try to get my mom to stand up for herself. She never will, and trying to get her to, just irritates her. So, I give. 

My mom is the epitome of abused wife. She's been abused so long that she can't say anything, anymore. The narc gets its way, every single time, because mom has been conditioned to fear its wrath. 

Now, this started long ago. This isn't something that happens suddenly. It most likely started with something like:

Narc: I want this here.

Mom: OK. Doesn't bother me.

After forty years, she is so afraid to piss off the asshole that literally anything it wants, she permits. She has given in so much, that she has zero rights. 

A friend if mine posted a picture, reading, "You can't keep getting angry at someone for sucking the life out of you, if you keep giving them the straw". But give it the straw, she does.

One of the biggest problems I have with Mormonism is their views on marriage. They believe that, if they're married in a special building, with very specific words said, that it's for all eternity. If someone, like a narcissist, should be abusive, or if he has an affair, they have to petition their church to get a "temple divorce", like it matters. Fun fact: In the afterlife, God will not force people to be together, despite these unforgivable actions, just because they were married in a special building. Divorce is divorce. But, as mom is a faithful member of that church, she believes otherwise. It's her right to believe that way, but she's just harming herself.

She is so conditioned to obey the narc, that if she does get slightly annoyed, it'll say, "What's your problem?!" Her response? To bury it deep, eat her feelings and needs, and conceed to what it needs or wants.

So, mom, I will stop trying to coax you into standing up for yourself, and that waste of space will continue to push you lower and lower, until you are literally nothing. I can't help you, anymore. I, however, will continue to fight off the abuse, and set boundaries. Yes, it'll throw fits over literally everything, but that's not going to be my problem. I didn't create this monster. Neither did you, but you sure as hell helped make it as bad as it is, today. And by continuing to indulge the asshole's demands, you continue to make its reactions worse. Good luck with that.

Making it angry will actually help show that it's not God, despite what it believes it is. I know it's uncomfortable for you, but what's worse: Dealing with 20 minutes of anger, or living the rest of your life with a proverbial gun to your head, being made to cater to it out of fear?

Your choice.