Time

Be here. Do this. Take that.

It's been said a million times, and I'll just add to it: there isn't enough time in the day. Between full-time work (going on six whole months, now!), doctor appointments, errands, and the extremely limited "me" time, I'm just done. 

A few weeks back, I lowered my Seroquel from 400mg to 350mg. There were a couple of really bad days, but overall, it's not bad. Weirdest part is that I'm sleeping better now. Anyhow, my moods are pretty level, considering the time since I lowered it, but I still get this awful feeling at the end of the day. Like, full-blown depression, with a smattering of "I'd like to punch you in the face" anger. Unfortunately, this lovely concoction of emotions pops its ugly head out at some inconvenient times. My poor mom is getting the force of it.

Today was odd, and tomorrow will be very similar. I took the morning off for a doctor appointment, and worked the six hours from noon unti, well, 6:00 PM. The darker the sky got, the darker my mood got. Bad enough that work was nonstop busy, but between people being people, and this foul mood of mine, I'm sure a few unsuspecting souls got a taste of it.

I'm trying desperately to lower my Seroquel to the lowest tolerable level, because I was recently diagnosed with insulin resistance, and Seroquel is known to have an effect on that. I've started to change the way I eat (being without a constant supply of Cheetos isn't helping my mood 😡), and I'm exercising more, but there's a long way to go. I'm round. I look like, if you took a bouncy ball, stuck toothpicks in for arms and legs, and added a Cocoa Puff for the head. A large part of that is genetic, but that won't stop me from trying my hardest to change it. 

I haven't written in a while, because I'm so done after work, that I simply don't want to. However, this blog is my catharsis. Talking about these things and emotions is helpful in treating them. I very much encourage everyone to have a catharsis. Write, clean, rant, sing... Just do something to get it out in a constructive way. I've got a whole list of "my life sucks" songs, if you find yourself in need. 

That's all.

Thank you for your time.

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