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I'm on a mission to save the world! Or maybe just to find the perfect mac and cheese.
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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Victim Or Survivor?

I hate waking up  with thoughts like these...

While I was in the shower this morning, I started thinking about my school days. School was my own personal circle of Hell that Virgil told Dante was too dangerous to enter.

It started off innocently. I was thinking about this Archaeology class I took the summer between fifth and sixth grades. It was a blast! We got into a silly string war on the last day! Then my thoughts moved to fourth grade.

There were three math classes with varying degrees of difficulty. I was in the highest class. Each day, we were to complete one problem on a sheet we were given. These problems were incredibly difficult, but I always got them right. At the semester, my teacher decided that I wasn't smart enough to be in the high class because, I kid you not, I got one problem wrong. ONE! Since I was no longer smart enough for her, she dropped me to the LOWEST class! My mom fought the school and said that I was not to be in the other teacher's class. We had a meeting, and the principal agreed with my mom and me. Finally, I was put in the middle class. Side note: a few years later, the teacher who taught the low class was arrested for "inappropriate contact with students." Thanks mom for fighting!

Fourth grade was also when I was locked in the school counsellor's office for being the victim of a bully.

I dealt with a ton of crap in school, but the thing that hit hardest was in ninth grade. I had spent eighth grade at a different school and when I came back to my home school, I wasn't very well received. I was having a bad day all around, so when I was walking to another class, having someone spit in my face was the last straw. That's right... someone actually spit in my face. I went to my guidance counsellor's office to tell her what happened and just broke down. Side note: she was an amazing counsellor! She's the only reason I got out of the 9th grade!

I've always told people that there comes a time when you must stop thinking like a victim and start thinking like a survivor. I'm not convinced that I have taken my own words to heart. I think that's what I'm going to start working on in therapy.

"Concrete Angel"~ Martina McBride

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