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I'm on a mission to save the world! Or maybe just to find the perfect mac and cheese.
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Tuesday, September 13, 2016

My Nightly Battle

"To sleep, perchance to dream."

I've been having ridiculously vivid dreams lately and none of them have been good. I'll have screaming matches with someone or I see people dying in horrific ways. Either way, I wake up convinced that these things have happened. To give you an example of just how vivid these things are, I actually sat up in my sleep the other night.

I know vivid dreams come with the Bipolar territory, but this is just insane! Every. Freaking. Night! I'll wake up crying, hyperventilating, or incredibly angry, and you can forget about feeling rested. It's tiring to argue with someone when you're awake so just imagine doing it all night, every night. I'm about ready to give up on my downers and let myself get manic. At least then I'd be awake!

I honestly don't know what to do. I'm completely knackered, but I'm afraid to go to sleep.

I'm sure I haven't been the most pleasant person lately. I mean, who is when they're super tired? And I start school in the morning, so that's going to add to my stress levels and make me even more tired! How am I supposed to concentrate (I just spelled that wrong 3 times...) on what the professor is saying when I can hardly keep my eyes open? Worst part: I can't get caffeine on campus! Friggin Nazis!

Oh! I should tell you about a few nights ago...

I was lying in my bed, trying to get to sleep, when my head starts to spin. Not uncommon for me, but it kept going. It kept getting faster and faster, and with each spin came a horrifically loud noise that only I could hear. It sounded like a bullet bike driving right through my head. it only stopped when my brain wondered off into yet another bad dream (I don't want to call it a nightmare because they're not necessarily frightening). With the sound that came, it's needless to say I woke up with a headache.

I don't know exactly what causes these dreams, but I wish they'd return to Hell where they belong.

Quick note: I stopped doing songs because A~ I usually blog on my phone now, and B~ because nobody ever really said anything about them. If y'all want them back, just let me know.

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