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Monday, October 3, 2016

I Feel Like Crap

Alrighty then...

So I had a dream last night that there were people staying in my house in some sort of emergency situation. One of these people was Brooke. I tried to punch, kick, grab, and claw her, but nothing I did would hurt her. I woke up feeling completely lost and defeated.

Bad segue in 3... 2... 1...

Weather sucks. Last night, after it got dark (which also bugs me), it decided to rain. When the barometric pressure drops like that, my depression spirals and it reacts in my body. It's like a total body ache that pain meds won't fix. Crying ensued, and I was up late.

We've all heard of Season Affective Disorder (SAD). I know I suffer from it as the short days and long nights make me depressed. So we can add that to my diagnoses.

I left school early today, halfway through my math class simply because I am so depressed that I can't pay attention. I have exactly zero idea what we were even doing in class. In business class, my team had to read a section and report on it. I read parts and listened to my teammates read parts, but don't ask me what we read because I simply could not pay attention.

OH! I saw my med manager last week and she added yet another diagnosis... Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Basically, in most women with the disorder, their PMS gets bad and makes them depressed. I, however, don't always get depressed. I've been manic and mixed, as well. When my med manager heard this, she was at a loss. She threatened to write a paper about me since every journal ever written about PDD has mentioned only depression. She gave me a small upper for when I get depressed, and a small downer for when I get manic. She had no idea what to do for the mixed.

Anyway, I should probably get to my homework. I suppose that's the bonus for everything being online. I can get my homework even when I'm not in class.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad that school has gotten so advanced that you have time and flexibility to complete your homework.

    Sometimes I think that not everything is documented or acknowledged when it comes to certain conditions and symptoms. I wouldn't doubt there is more people with the same situation but it hasn't been "documented" and made known to others.

    News for me... Went to the doc today and she said that along with my anxiety she thinks I have some PTSD... So she referred me to mental health. I have never been (that I can remember) and I'm nervous and scared about what is going to happen- I have an appointment next week. I don't like talking....