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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Work It

Something's gotta give...

Enrico Caruso, a famous opera singer, was once quoted to have said that his voice has him. Yes, he has a voice, but with fame comes give and take. He basically meant that he went wherever his voice was needed. He missed the birth of his daughter because his voice had to be somewhere. Get what I'm saying?

If that was clear as mud, allow me to explain my side of this. Yes, I have mental illnesses, but they also have me. Lately, it seems like I have less and less control over myself. My manic-depression is deciding what mood I'm in and when. I'm just along for the ride. My Anxiety is controlling where I go and what I do. I can't seem to get anywhere by myself lately. I have to have someone with me or know that I'm meeting someone there. My brain is controlling my life.

I looked for jobs again today. Bad idea. It does nothing but frustrate me. "Must have two years experience." "Customer service for busy office." Aren't there jobs out there for people who hate people?

I still marvel at the pure stupidity of my old med manager and therapist for saying that I can work. Right... So apparently being absolutely terrified of human contact makes me the perfect candidate for retail. I get so angry that I can't work. You think I like being labeled "disabled?" I'd rather die, but I know my limits and it's getting to a point where my front door is my limit.

I need to find a therapist who will work with me on my social phobia. My last one focused on the bullying trauma. That's not going to help me be a contributing member of society! I need to be able to say hello to someone without having a full-on panic attack! Does nobody realize this?! Help me!

I'm done with that rant now...

So, since leaving Facebook, my stress levels have gone way down. I don't miss it at all. No need to fear, however, I'm still on Twitter and Instagram. You can follow me there!

Twitter: @AROTBEblog
Insta: rie_define

I post the occasional picture on Insta and I don't really tweet except for my blog posts, but I'd love for all my friends to stay connected and meet new ones along the way!

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