Long story short, I’ve had digestive problems my whole life. I’ve heard about the FODMAP diet from a few doctors, but I’ve never had the desire to have that level of self-control. I like food, but I’m ridiculously picky, and the list of foods allowed just doesn’t work for me. I went back to the doctor, who told me something interesting... Since I don’t eat many of the forbidden foods on a regular basis, the foods most likely causing me issues are lactose or gluten.
Fast forward to today...
Day one without lactose and gluten. I picked out some gluten-free waffles at the store last weekend, based solely on the fact that, A- I could reach them, and B- they were blueberry. Now, every single gluten-free thing I’ve ever put in my mouth, has come right back out. It’s vile, and really shouldn’t be called “food”. Welp, I tried these waffles at lunch (judge me), and they were the best waffles I’ve ever had! Forget Eggo... get Van’s!
Ok, now for the mental ramifications of excluding beloved foods...
I’m one of those women who mindlessly shove food in their mouth, then complain they’re fat. Having to tell myself I can’t eat something is rather stressful. You’ve probably been through the same; you get a craving for something, but can’t have it (enter: Nando’s), and that’s the only thing you can think of the rest of the day. I don’t know about you, but when I can’t have something, the craving moves me on to other, similar things. Stress leads to agitation, agitation leads to annoyance, annoyance leads to three candy bars, two Mountain Dew cans, and a night of feeling like a failure.
Today is only day one. Not bad, so far... but I have to do this for a solid three weeks. Twenty-one days. Yes, there are alternatives for these foods, but they’re simply not the same. Some are better (like my waffles), some should be removed via HAZMAT (like every gluten-free bread available).
Anyhow, this is my life for the next little while. If you know of good lactose or gluten alternatives, please share!
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