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Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Too Full

I’ve never been through this, and I gotta say... I really don’t care for it.

Ok, I have this weird reaction when I eat, which,  everyone who has ever seen it, has to laugh. Normal people get the sensation of, “I’m almost full. Maybe a bite or two more”, right? Not me. I feel hungry while I’m eating... until I don’t. Like, I’m going along, enjoying my taco, then very suddenly, I’ll literally gag because I’m too full. Most of the time, I wind up not being able to even swallow that bite. It gets gross, if you have to watch this.

Anyhow, I’ve never felt the feeling I’ve heard about when someone is too full. Tonight, that changed, and it’s just... no.

I’m not a fan of new things that I can’t control. New pants? Great. New car? Fun! New feeling? No. Yes, this falls under the OCPD tab in my ever-growing owner’s manual for my brain. I’m a major control freak, especially when it comes to myself. I can’t handle when I feel “off”, because it’s not what I want for myself. 

For the last couple weeks, I’ve been fighting certain things that annoy me to the point of irritation, or even anger. I’ve managed to keep my thoughts to myself when reading something with grammar vying for first place in the “I read it in the comments” awards, which is a massive step for me. But, I mean, come on! What kind of kindergarten drop-out spells “Abviously”?!?! 

Anyway, my point is: Trying to deal with something new, has always been difficult for me. Anything about my mind or body, that suddenly changes, is just not ok with me. I’m nearing thirty-four years old, and I still can’t handle these things. Working on it, but not holding my breath.

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