Constant Change Is Here To Stay

That was eye-opening...

Those who have followed my blog for a while (thank you), have probably noticed that I’m not the same person as when I started this, nearly seven years ago. I was going through some old posts, and was actually rather embarrassed at some of them.

Everyone changes. You grow up, your circumstances change, you find out you’ve got one or more mental illnesses. Literally anything can change who you are. Maybe not in massive, life-altering ways, but it happens. Best part is that we don’t always notice the changes in ourselves, unless you really look back.

One of the posts I read was about how I have nothing and no one. Back then, my brain was so foggy with anger, anxiety, and self-pity, that it wouldn’t allow me to see what I had. What I still have. I recently wrote some posts about all my amazing friends (not all of you were in it, but you are all very much appreciated). Those friends have had my back for years, and have never abandoned me. Those are real friends!

So many posts I’ve written have been obsolete for quite a while, now. The ones bemoaning my mania or deep depression, ones talking about how I couldn’t go out by myself, and some seriously heated rants that were far from appropriate (like calling out certain people).

No, I am not the same person I was when I first started this blog. I’m not even the same person I was a year ago. This is a good thing, in my case. It may have taken until my mid-thirties (yes, I’m really that old), but for the first time, in my entire life, I can see the top of this mountain I’ve been climbing. It’s a good feeling. 

Will I ever be “normal”? No. But, let’s face it, there’s no standard definition of normality, anyhow. My goal always has been, and probably will remain so for the foreseeable future, to appear as close to a functioning adult as possible. I’m almost there, but, like any other chronic, lifelong illness, I’ll have to keep treating it for the rest of my life.

Just want to say a giant thank you to all my supporters! Whether you’ve been with me for a month, a year, or the life of this blog, you mean the world to me! It’s you who keep me going! From family, to friends, to total strangers, it’s nice to see you all (in the “views” counter, at least)!