Maybe...

Maybe. Maybe not.

I've always been a cheerleader for "No, you can't think your way out of depression." I screamed it through the rooftops, posted blogs about it, and pointed that fact out to anyone who says anything to the effect of "think happy, be happy". But was I wrong?

I work phone lines for my company, and I get a truckload of crap. Dealing with the public is like trying to dismantle a hornet nest without getting stung. People are terrible. They blame you for their own stupidity; they think you can do what they want, despite company policy; and they yell at you for something someone else did. I've been here a year, this month, and I just discovered something...

The end of Wednesday, I decided I was going to stop being petty towards callers who are rude, never say thanks, or the India callers who are the bane of everyone's existence. Normally, I'd transfer them by dialing incredibly slowly, or I'd give a sarcastic "no problem". So, I told myself, "don't be petty" every time I wanted to be, and I gotta say... Thursday was incredible! I wasn't overly annoyed, I didn't complain all day, and I felt -- what's that word? -- decent!

Now, I in no way thought my way out of depression. I still have no motivation, I'm tired, and crying is a multiple-time-per-day thing. But I did manage to get a good day, where I didn't want to quit my job or take unscheduled time off. I like my job, but my brain has been at the wheel for a few months, now. Things haven't been so good, that way, but my direct boss, and the company as a whole, are incredibly helpful and understanding. It's a great place to work. No, I won't tell you where I work, for the safety of the people I work with, and the callers I deal with.

Today, however, was a train wreck. I kept telling myself to not be petty, but one caller from India used my last nerve as a jump rope, and I lost any and all control I'd gained yesterday. I'm cranky, I'm fed up, and the next person who asks me to spell my name is getting their picture on a dart board and used for target practice.

So, can you really think your way into a better day? I'd say yes, but it's circumstantial, and everyone will have their own way of doing that. Can you think your way out of a depressive episode? That answer always has been, and always will be a huge, resounding "no".

Experiment concluded.