As we all know, there are two things that come from butts— wind and crap. The wind may stink, but it doesn’t cause as big a problem as the crap. The wind dissipates fairly quickly, and there’s no need for cleanup, except an air freshener. Crap, on the other hand, is messy, and as some children love to do, it gets smeared, causing major problems.
Why am I talking about bodily functions? Short answer: I’m not. These unattractive things are more than literal— they’re metaphorical. This, readers, is narcissism.
A narcissist is capable of exactly two things when it speaks. It can blow hot air, which stinks, but is fairly tolerable, and is over relatively quickly. This hot air is often aimed at defending its own behaviors, telling someone how great it is, and can usually be ignored. Sometimes, leaving the room, and getting a clean breath, helps to keep going. The hard part is the crap.
Crap can be flushed down the toilet, but only by those who are professional-level when dealing with a narcissist. For those of us who have been emotionally abused by these sad excuses for humans, often find the crap smeared all over. It gets on the walls, in the carpet, but the hardest to clean, is the crap that gets on us. It has become such a part of our identities that, we’re not sure how to get it off, or what to do once it’s finally gone.
This metaphorical crap are things like, feeling like we’re the problem, thinking that their anger is our fault, and backing down to their commands, so as to not incur their wrath. Unfortunately, these feelings aren’t associated with just the narcissist; we continue these patterns within other relationships. Whether it be friendships, romantic relationships, or how we deal with job-related stress, we have been conditioned to think and act the way the narcissist taught us to.
Don’t look in this blog for a way to overcome that, because I have no idea. The farthest I’ve gone in healing is, understanding that, I am a person, I do deserve happiness and love, and I am not what the narcissist taught me to believe I am. If you can get these three thought patterns in your conscious mind, you can start your journey to freedom.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is not ever going to be complete. It leaves a scar that rivals one from an open heart surgery. And, let’s face it, it really is heart surgery. You have to learn that you are capable, worthy, and not a verbal punching bag.
One piece of advice... Don’t try to speak to, argue with, or attempt to negotiate with a narcissist. They’re called “assholes” for a reason. An ass has no ears, and won’t listen. All it will know is that it feels attacked, and then comes the crap...
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