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I'm on a mission to save the world! Or maybe just to find the perfect mac and cheese.
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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Too Many Changes

"2015 is the year of the crap pile."~ Charmaine's calendar.

This year has been one blow after the next. Yes, my world was uprooted by the news of Zayn leaving One Direction, as well as the news of the "hiatus." Not long after that, one of my all-time favorite artists, Nick Santino, announced that he has not only formed a new band, but that they have a new EP out now. Side note: Beach Weather. It's fabulous!

Now, you may think that this is all childish and wonder why these things affect me, but the thing is, it's big and unexpected. I don't like big and unexpected changes. Small and predetermined change is alright, but don't blindfold me and untie it right as I'm about to walk into a wall.

When my "sister" moved back in, my world wasn't just uprooted, it was bulldozed. I lost all control of my emotions and actions. When my grandma passed, I could hardly breathe. I cried at least once a day for weeks (been doing better on that). Every time I go up to her grave, that feeling comes back.

The biggest change hit me like a bat to the face. I saw my therapist last Friday and she told me that she has been offered, and has accepted, a new position somewhere else. I get to pick between two interns at the clinic I'm at now, but I'm still not okay with it. It took me about six or seven months to get comfortable enough with my current therapist to really open up. How am I going to get that way with another new one?

"Night Changes"~ One Direction

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