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Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Raises and Drops

Up, up, and away!

So I got my meds raised again today. My med manager says that after this raise, I'll basically be maxed out on this particular medication. I just don't see that meds help me. I still have drastic ups and downs that are difficult to handle. My depression is back which kept me from work and is going to keep me from seeing a friend tonight. 

When I was at my appointment today, my med manager noticed that I wasn't myself. I noticed the depression coming, I just didn't pay it much attention. 

According to one person I have no choice but to see (not my med manager. She rocks!), I have the power to overcome these debilitating swings with positive thinking. Key word "debilitating." This woman is nice, but she's obviously never been depressed in her life and she's sure shootin' not dealing with Bipolar Disorder! 

Ok, if I can "overcome" my mood swings by pure thought, then a diabetic can manage their glucose levels by just thinking the right number, right? That's not how this works people! You'd think that someone who works at the mental health clinic would grasp this concept.

I'm just tired of trying every drug available and it not doing a single thing. I'm tired of trying, period. I've been doing therapy on and off since I was fourteen. I've been drug jumping for years. Nothing seems to be helping. I'm about ready to simply give up.

1 comment:

  1. Giving up would definitely make your life easier, but what about all the people who use your experiences to help themselves... You help people to know that they aren't the only one how has to deal with a ton load of crap and clean it up to...