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Saturday, October 31, 2020

It Sure Is A Day

Can I crawl under the blankets, now?

Today is one of those days where nothing goes right, and everything goes wrong. There’s no middle ground. It’s an extreme. Here I am, on my lunch break at work, and I’m back to contemplating quitting. 

I keep doing this. Something goes wrong, my brain freaks out, and I wind up screwing myself over. Someone says something rude, and my brain goes into overdrive with “Everything sucks”, instead of “Look at all this amazing stuff, compared to the one bad thing”.

This feeling has cost me no less than ten jobs in as many years. Thanks to all the ridicule and useless criticism I got growing up, I don’t take even constructive criticism well. At all. Suddenly, it’s all, “I’m horrible. I do nothing right. Nobody likes me”. 

This is my reality.

I like this job, I really do, but I can’t get my conscious mind to speak to my subconscious mind. Rational thought has no power against irrationality with me. The worst part is not knowing how to fix this. 

I read too much into the negative, blocking out the overwhelming positives.

Awesome...

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