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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Trust me

Ok... so I've talked before about how I'm always the "good friend" and how I'm tired of it. This is still true, but I hear people say the same things I've complained about (nobody calls in, always making the invitation. etc.), and they don't seem to mind too much. This boggled my mind! How could it not bother someone?! Then I realized, maybe they're not the exception, but the rule.

I took some time to think about why this would bother me so much, and I hit a massive epiphany today while working with a group of kids. One girl was all alone, and when I asked her where her friends were, she looked down and said, "they don't want to be my friends anymore." About half an hour later, they were all together and looked like they were having a good time. It hit me like a cement truck that this little girl is exactly like I was.

I posted about the bullies and the ringleader who made it her life's goal to make my life miserable, but it wasn't just her/them. Some of my friends played some very cruel jokes on me. One time, a couple of them apparently got into that (insert demeaning adjective here)'s thumb. They asked me to come play, and when we got a couple houses down, that (insert demeaning adjective here) came out of hiding. The two other girls held me tight while that... you get the point... twisted my arm and said, "I wonder how far until it breaks."

I guess after that, I just don't trust anyone, and when someone doesn't put forth the effort, I see it as a betrayal as bad as that day. Don't get me wrong, I have some amazing friends who text and whatnot a lot! If a day goes by where we don't talk, a couple will say, "I'm so sorry for being such a bad friend!" Sweet pea... you're not a bad friend!

Back on topic... So I have trust issues. Explains a lot. Yay personal epiphanies...

This video means the world to me. I just wish it had be around 20 years ago. Please share this!

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