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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Give Me Novacaine

Can I be done now?

Lately, it seems like I can't do anything right. Someone gets upset with me every day. Today has been particularly bad, however.

I had a training class today for work. Every comment I made was wrong somehow. Even responses to questions where the answer was on the board. Then, I get attacked on Facebook for simply voicing my opinion. What? Am I not supposed to have any?

So, I was trying to think of someone to talk to who would just let me vent, but the only friend I have anywhere near my time zone I could really talk to (I feel) had surgery today and would probably be less than stoked about texts or calls.

So.. here I am. Sitting on my bed with my One Direction blanket (don't judge), crying and wondering if this is ever going to end. I grew up believing that, after death, all pain would disappear, but lately, I don't believe it. I can't see an end to this... ever.

I'm at Dover (on the edge) of just giving up. I always ask Facebook to share this blog... I've seen it 3 times. I try my best at work, and somebody always says I'm not trying hard enough. That applies to everything, really. Nobody understands, let alone cares how alienated I feel. It hurts more than you could even imagine.

Lately, I've had a chant running through my head, and I actually believe it. Almost everyone has made it abundantly clear that it's true. I am useless; I am worthless; I am nobody.


1 comment:

  1. Hey God don't make junk! You aren't worthless. I'm sorry people felt like they needed to say something. I actually saw your post on FB and I disagreed with it, because I'm adopted, but I just kept on scrolling- because yes everyone can have an opinion and it's not my job to police others opinions. I'm sorry it got hurtful to you though. I didn;t see any comments but from what you said thats what I gathered happened. Anyway I love you still and want you to look at yourself in the mirror and know GOD loves you too, really I know he does. -Cassie