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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Who is that girl I see?

Uh huh.

So, I have an evaluation on Friday to determine if the government thinks I'm disabled enough to get Medicaid (government funded healthcare). I was sent some papers to fill out beforehand and, no joke, a 6 year old could alter it to look either perfectly fine or a complete nut job! It's insane! It's the typical "let's dive into your childhood and see what we can blame on your mother" type thing. Best part, there's a "complete the sentence" page, and one of the sentences begins with "What I like least about women________." Umm... why is there no "What I like least about men" option? And on marital status, there's the usual options, married, divorced, cohabitating then a slap in the face... never married. Not "single," oh no... just never married.

Ok, so that rant is over. Now I want to talk about how I'm actually afraid of this evaluation. I've said so many times that I don't show emotion that it really just goes without saying. I've lived my life convincing people that I don't have a problem, and now I have to show someone that I do. Showing this person I've never met my deepest self is the most terrifying thing that could happen to me. I've grown quite fond of the mask I wear.

I'm kind of freaking myself out right now, so let's talk about something... not freaky.

OH OH OH!!! The new One Direction album is out as of last Monday! I pre ordered it, but it didn't actually ship until Monday, but it's streaming on Freegal! If you live in the US and don't know what that is, I seriously recommend you check it out! Anyway, it's really good!  And lately, I've been slightly obsessed with Phantogram. They're dark, twisted, and freaking amazing. Music tip of the day, I guess.

Anyway, call me cliché, but this song is really how I feel most of the time.

Reflection~ Christina Aguilera (from Disney's Mulan)

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