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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I Am Nobody

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I can't do anything right, can I?" This is an almost constant thought for me. My whole life, it's been one bad review after another. When I work really hard on something, it just gets worse. If I plan a party, maybe four people show up. When I decorate my own room, I get things like ,"Well it's not what I'd do." I told my sister once that I like to write and I'd like to publish one day. Want to know what she said? "You're not that good a writer."

I honestly have no idea why I'm even here. I mean, what exactly do I do? I get up, go to a job where I have to bite my tongue, I come home where I have to bite my tongue, go to bed, don't sleep, repeat. I'm not allowed to be me at any point of the day without getting told in some way or another that the real me is bad.

If I express any opinion I have, I get a lecture about how I'm wrong. If I try to give advice, it's wrong. If I suggest a place to go out to eat, you guessed it, I'm wrong.

So, I'm sitting in my room looking around wondering what I can wrap around my neck because I've just given up. I'll never be anything but a screw up.

I've used this song before, but I still mean every word.

"What If" ~ Five For Fighting

 

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