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Thursday, December 18, 2014

Nightmares before Christmas

I need my teddy bear!

No, really. I've been holding on to my teddy bear the last few nights because I've been having nothing but nightmares. I've always had them, it just gets worse every now and then and I can't pinpoint what causes it.

I'm not sure if I've told you lovely people about this before, but I've had a recurring nightmare since I was 6 years old. I have it at least once a week, and yes, I wake up trying to scream every time. I dream that I'm in a public bathroom, and when I look up, there's a dead woman hanging over the divider. And people wonder why I hate public bathrooms...

I won't give you all the details of my nightmares, because, well, the amazing writers at Criminal Minds couldn't think of anything that bad... But a couple of night ago, I dreamt that the darkness was alive, and if it touched you, you would become part of it. If you've seen I Am Legend, it's kind of like that. It scared me so bad that I actually jolted myself awake.

But it's not just night terrors, it's the dreams that are so vivid, I actually think they're real. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've woken up and smacked my wall trying to get up because I dreamt that I had moved my bed. Those dreams are, in a way, worse for me because I don't get restful sleep so I'm tired all day. Not to say I get restful sleep while I'm trying to run from the darkness...

Well, today, I was reading one of my books on Bipolar management (if I could remember which one, I'd love to tell you), and came across a part that said that vivid and violent dreams are common among people with the disorder. It was just a basic fact, but knowing that took a whole load off my mind! It's normal! Sound the trumpets! Join the chorus!

So, I know that knowing these dreams are normal doesn't stop them, but it makes me feel a little less weird.

This song doesn't really have anything to do with this, but it's called Rescue, so it has merit.

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