I'm so done with this.
When a dog is sick and has no hope of recovery, we euthanize it and call it humane. When a person is sick and has no hope for recovery, we medicate them beyond comprehension so they can live in the horrific pain they've so longed to be rid of. People always talk about how selfish suicide is, but honestly, how selfish is it of those forcing this person to live in agony?
As the school year ended, so did my job. My days are now filled with job hunting, watching a TV show with an obnoxious liberal agenda, and arguing with my father who can't seem to realize that he's my anger trigger. Let's just say, he's not the type of person who should have gotten married, let alone had children.
Side note: The more I realize my whole life has been a one sided relationship with my father, the more I realize why I can't get along with men in general. I just expect every one of them to be selfish.
Anyway, along with no job and a self-serving father to argue with, I also have a bum leg and two busted wrists. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty worthless right about now. I can't exercise, so I've been gaining weight. I still have no friends in the valley. I'm, as always, the good friend who talks first (exceptions made for two). The only thing I want is for this to all be over.
I'm a Christian and firmly believe in an afterlife, but I don't even want that. I just want to stop existing altogether. I have no hope; I have no future.
What exactly did I do to deserve the hellish life I was given?
I think God has a purpose for your life, and I also know you're talented, intelligent, creative, funny, sweet, as well as beautiful. Sometimes our lives feel meaningless or mundane but I think the most important things in life are also cleverly disguised as mundane. Keep writing. Your words are powerful!
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