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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Who Am I?

I am me, and I'm not sorry for that.

When I was growing up, my sister made very sure that I was nothing like her. I couldn't have the same shirt, shoes, I couldn't even like the same song. She shut me out of her life completely. Side note: I never actually liked anything for the simple reason of "because my sister does."

A few years ago, she changed. A lot. She started talking to me. I thought I'd die of shock. This is great, right? Wrong. For the last 4 years or so, I've had to listen to her tell me all sorts of things that I do wrong. How I should dress more like her, do my hair like her, do my makeup like her. The list goes on and on.

When she's not on that wagon, we can have a great time! We act like children and laugh at the dumbest things. It's great! But the second I try to say anything real, she retracts into her, "you're the little sister and don't know anything because you're still six years old" phase. If she and my mom are talking about real stuff and I try to put in my two cents, I get the most ridiculously condescending look that's kind of like, "don't hurt your brain."  I feel like I should be getting a biscuit for complying.

I'm not actually expecting her to read this because, well, she's never read any of my posts. She still believes I'm not a good writer, and says she "doesn't have time" to read this. Well, in the time it has taken you to argue about it, you could have read five posts!

None of this would bother me if we weren't related. If she were just some person I knew, I'd cut her off and be fine with it. Since she's family, however, I don't have a choice. She's my only sibling, and the fact that she cannot accept me for who I am is probably the most hurtful thing in the world.

Sister, dear... I like my skinny jeans, flat hair, basic makeup, flat canvas shoes, and punk rock, country, and pop. I'm so much smarter than you give me credit for. It is not alright to attempt to change any of this. Please accept and respect that I am not you, I am me.

I'm going all-out emo today, but there's one line in here, besides the chorus, that I dedicate to my big sister. "Did you know you used to be my hero?"

"Perfect"~ Simple Plan

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