5, 4, 3, 2, 1 More Time

I'm sorry.

I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be. I know I let my emotions take control of me rather than controlling my emotions. Not that it's an excuse, but I've got quite a few emotions going on all the time. I just have to release them sometimes and, judging by the reactions I get, I shouldn't.

My genetically similar female relation moved in a week ago. Since then, I've been torn down so much, I can't even remember each little incident. This week has been pure Hell, and now, more than ever, I want it to end.

My "sister" is quite possibly the most condescending, self-centered person on the planet.

• She'll interrupt me and keep talking, but when I try to get back to what I was saying, she freaks out because "you're interrupting me!"
• She makes it abundantly clear that I'm beneath her because I can't work full-time. I've explained to her time, and time again that, not everyone can take whatever job pays the bills. Some of us have to think about it very, very carefully.
• She won't drink tap water and insists on buying bottles because "Britas aren't good enough."
• She won't wear jeans. Says they're "too casual."
• She'll sit there and whine about the same... freaking... thing... for an hour... every... freaking... day, but if I mention the same thing twice in one week, I'm being whiny and repetitive.
• She won't even read my blog because she doesn't "have time." And the award for 'Crappiest Sister' goes to...

Although, and I know she'll get upset about this, but she isn't the sole reason I'm ready to give up. Surprise! The world doesn't revolve around your ego! My father has become worse, as of late.

I've told you before about how the only way I can get him to do something is to pitch a fit. Well, now I think he's doing it intentionally. That's actually abuse, in case you were wondering. With my sister moving in, we've had to clean out her room (which was only cluttered in the first place because dad deemed it storage since he couldn't be bothered to clean up his hoarding mess in the basement). Most of what was in there was mine. I lost track of how many of my things were damaged or destroyed while trying to move it all.

Now, this wouldn't be such an issue, except for the fact that, when dad cleaned a space in the basement for my storage, it wasn't even a quarter of the space my sister's stuff takes. I can't even lie down in it and all my stuff is supposed to fit there?! Just another example of child favoritism.

I'm tired of being looked down on. I'm tired of it being made clear that I'm not good enough. I'm tired of having to get angry. I'm tired of feeling like an unwanted guest in my own home. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of watching from the outside. I'm tired of living. I hate my life and I hate myself for holding on this long. I'm done.

"Vegas Lights"~ Panic! At The Disco