Whenever I have an all-around bad day, it hits a spike at the end. It's like a balloon that is slowly being filled, but after it's been full for a while, and it has finally gotten used to the pressure, someone decides to see what a pin would do.
Four weeks ago, I was having one of those days. Long story short, there was screaming and throwing. Wednesday, (read Wednesday's post for the explanation) ended with a crap-filled balloon exploding all over me. This time, my entire life is going to be uprooted.
My sister is moving back in. Sure, it's "temporary," but this is my sister we're talking about! My, "I won't answer your calls, but I'll answer mom's or dad's," "my little friend takes priority over you any day," "your pain is in your head and my paper cut will ultimately result in my untimely death," sister! This genetically similar human being is the second leading cause of my self-esteem issues! For eight blissful years, she has lived forty miles away and only visited on occasion, thus ensuring my fairly well managed (fine, slightly better) mental status.
She takes over everything. Space, conversations; you name it, she'll dominate. When she's around, I don't exist. My mom tries to get me involved, but inevitably it will wind up my sister and my dad talking with the occasional interjection by mom. It's not hard to see who dad's favorite child is.
The worst part of all this not-so-pent-up anger: I'm still the wide-eyed, adoring little sister. She says "jump," and I don't even ask how high, I just do it until she's satisfied. I will do anything she asks, and she knows it.
Story (which is kind of funny in retrospect): After both of my major leg surgeries, I had a walking boot. Anyone who has ever worn one, knows they're no fun. The second surgery allowed me to walk on my heel for the first time in my life. Since said heel was not used to being used, it hurt like mad. Well, my sister asked if I wanted to go shopping "for a minute." I went. Two hours (and several inventive ways of saying "ouch") later, we finally leave.
I am, by no means, saying that my sister is a bad person; just that she's not the ideal big sister. She never has been. I guess I just keep hoping one day that we'll be as close as some of my friends are to their sisters.
When I was a kid, I used to as my sister to play "the cherry cola song."
"I Want You"~ Savage Garden
No comments:
Post a Comment