I knew I was going to break down eventually, and apparently that's today. I have quite a load pushing down on me and today was the last straw. This camel's back is officially broken. I've been trying to be more upbeat and look at the bright side, but I think it's contributing to the pressure, so I'm going to get this all off my chest...
Lately, I've been having some major sleep issues. I can't sleep without drugging myself with Benadryl. Even at that, I'm not really sleeping thanks to the overwhelmingly terrifying nightmares. I've got two recurring nightmares that really get to me and they've both made their appearances near nightly. I'll spare you the details (mostly because I don't want to think about it that much), but I'm not the biggest fan of public bathrooms or fire.
It's been such great weather here and it plummeted today. I think this is the most snow we've gotten since winter 2013/2014. It's dreary and depressing. Bad weather is a double hit on me. It's not just dark and depressing, it physically hurts. I had major surgery on my leg a few years back where the doctor had to break it. Long story short: I have a metal rod and a few screws in it now. So when the barometer drops, anyone who has had a broken bone or almost any surgery knows the pain.
I've got a few other things that I won't go in to because, well, this would be the world's longest blog post, but today just put the pin to the balloon. With the snow comes indoor recess for the kids. Indoor recess is my own personal Hell in the best of conditions, but I had to train someone today. Don't get me wrong, she's a super nice lady, but the only perk to indoor recess is my alone time (little as it may be). Side note: I also didn't feel like talking or smiling already today, and I exhausted everything I could muster in an hour.
So basically, I shut down. Driving home in the snow while tired and emotionally drained was less than fun. So I'm going to put some music on and hide.
"Heartbeat"~ Mayberry
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